This recording was purely for fun. I took a short poem I wrote, crafted a quick melody, and gave singing a try, reminding me why I never give up my day job 😜🤣
The poem comes first, then the song.
The Unwritten Path: From Dunbartonshire's Shadows to a New Beginning
My early childhood was marked by considerable hardship: a father battling alcoholism, a mother succumbing to illness, and abuse, both mental and physical, suffered within a Dunbartonshire orphanage-style institution. More than just a geographical relocation from Scotland to England, this poem represents a fresh beginning, a new direction for my life.
Life often presents us with stories of triumph over adversity, testaments to the indomitable human spirit. For some, the earliest chapters are etched not with innocence and joy, but with the harsh realities of neglect and abuse. My own beginning was marked by such shadows, a crucible of pain that shaped my understanding of the world, yet ultimately propelled me towards a future I had to forge for myself.
My early years were a landscape of stark contrasts and profound loss. The home that should have been a sanctuary was instead a theatre of despair, dominated by the insidious presence of a drunken father. His addiction cast a long, dark shadow, eclipsing any semblance of safety or stability. Amidst this chaos, my mother, a beacon of fragile hope, slowly faded, her life succumbing to illness. Her passing was not just the loss of a parent; it was the extinguishing of the last fragile light in a world already dim. With her gone, the thin veil of protection was ripped away, exposing me to a vulnerability that would soon be exploited.
The next chapter brought me to an orphanage-style institution in Dunbartonshire. What should have been a place of care and solace became another cell in a different kind of prison. Here, the abuse was not just emotional neglect but a systematised brutality that targeted both mind and body. The memories are still vivid: the chilling routine of physical punishment, the insidious mental degradation that sought to strip away dignity and self-worth. Days bled into weeks, weeks into months, each one a struggle for survival within walls that offered no comfort, only confinement and cruelty. I learned to build fortifications around my inner self, to detach, to endure.
Yet, even in the deepest despair, there lay a flicker of something untamed – a nascent will to survive, to escape. The prospect of a move, a journey from Scotland to England, arrived not as a mere change of address on paper, but as a lifeline thrown into a churning sea. It was a physical displacement that mirrored an internal yearning for freedom. With each mile that separated me from the grey skies of Dunbartonshire, from the ghosts of a broken home and the torment of that institution, a subtle shift occurred within. The geographical distance was more than just space; it was a widening chasm between the person I had been forced to be and the person I desperately wanted to become.
Looking back, that journey was more than just a passage across borders; it was the profound demarcation between past and future. It was the moment I consciously, perhaps even subconsciously, began to unwrite the painful script of my early years and embark upon what felt like a truly new start, a new path in life. The English soil underfoot felt different, not just physically, but symbolically. It represented a chance to breathe, to heal, to discover that not all human interaction was laced with pain, that safety could exist, and that a future free from fear was not an impossible dream.
The mental scars from those early years in Scotland still remain. They are a permanent part of my story, a testament to the depths of human cruelty and the resilience required to navigate such harrowing experiences. But they are not the sum total of who I am. The journey from Dunbartonshire to England was not just a change of scenery; it was the first step on a lifelong path of rebuilding, of finding strength in vulnerability, and of proving that even from the darkest beginnings, one can forge a life defined not by the pain endured, but by the courage to seek and create a new beginning.
YouTube: A Platform for Sharing, Not a Saviour!
In recent years, YouTube has evolved into a platform that houses an array of emotional and inspirational content. Among these, videos with titles like "YouTube Saved My Life" have gained significant traction. However, it's essential to recognise that YouTube is merely a tool that enables individuals to share their interests and experiences. It's time to debunk the myth that YouTube, as a platform, is a saviour for people struggling with their lives.
YouTube, as a platform, offers an incredible opportunity for people to connect with others who share their passions and interests. It has allowed individuals to build communities, share knowledge, and inspire one another. The platform's success lies in its ability to cater to diverse interests, ranging from music and art to education and technology.
However, attributing one's personal growth or salvation to YouTube is a misguided notion. The platform itself does not possess the power to change someone's life; it's the content creators who contribute to the emotional and inspirational content that resonates with viewers. These creators choose to share their stories, experiences, and knowledge on YouTube, but it is ultimately the individual's decision to engage with this content and derive value from it.
Furthermore, it's crucial to acknowledge that not everyone's experiences on YouTube will be positive or life-changing. While there are countless success stories of people overcoming challenges or finding solace in the platform's community, there are also instances where individuals have faced cyberbullying, harassment, and other negative experiences. This highlights the fact that YouTube is a double-edged sword, and its impact on an individual's life is heavily dependent on the user's choices and actions.
In conclusion, while YouTube provides an invaluable platform for people to share their stories and experiences, it is essential to recognise that the platform itself is not responsible for saving lives or inspiring change. The emotional and inspirational content that we find on YouTube is a reflection of the creators' efforts and the choices of the viewers who engage with it. It's time to shift the focus from attributing personal growth to YouTube as a platform and instead celebrate the individuals who create and share content that resonates with viewers. After all, it's the people behind the content who truly make YouTube the powerful and diverse platform it is today.
The Rollercoaster Ride: The Unfiltered Truth of Running a Small YouTube Channel
In an era dominated by digital stars and viral sensations, the dream of becoming a successful YouTuber shines brighter than ever. Millions flock to the platform, armed with cameras, ideas, and a fervent hope of connecting with an audience. But for every PewDiePie or MrBeast, there are countless small channels quietly toiling away, pursuing their passion in relative obscurity. This is the reality for the vast majority of content creators: a journey of exhilarating highs and often soul-crushing lows, all played out on the stage of a small YouTube channel.
The Euphoria of the "Ups"
Despite the challenges, there's a powerful allure to the small channel life. The "ups" are what keep creators going, often fueled by an intrinsic love for their craft.
Pure Passion and Creative Freedom: Unlike larger channels often beholden to sponsors or trends, small creators have unfettered creative freedom. They make content purely out of passion for a niche, a skill, or a story they want to tell. This authenticity resonates deeply with their budding audience.
Building a Niche Community: While the subscriber count might be modest, the engagement can be incredibly high. Small channels often foster tight-knit communities where viewers feel genuinely connected to the creator. Comments are meaningful, interactions are personal, and the feedback loop is immediate and constructive. This direct connection is incredibly rewarding.
The Thrill of Learning and Growth: Running a YouTube channel is a masterclass in diverse skills. From scripting and video editing to lighting, audio engineering, graphic design, SEO, analytics, and community management – creators are constantly learning and honing new abilities. Every new video represents a step forward in their personal and professional development.
Tangible Sense of Accomplishment: There's an undeniable rush when a video performs well, even if "well" means a few hundred views. Seeing retention rates climb, receiving heartfelt comments, or watching an audience slowly grow provides a tangible sense of achievement that few other hobbies can offer. It's proof that their effort is paying off, however incrementally.
Autonomy and Self-Expression: Being your own boss, setting your own schedule (to an extent), and having a platform for your unique voice is incredibly empowering. It's a space where you can truly express yourself without external filters or corporate mandates.
Navigating the Depths of the "Downs"
For every peak, there's often a valley. The "downs" are the silent battles fought behind the scenes, testing resilience and often leading to burnout.
The Relentless Grind vs. Minimal Reward: The time commitment is immense. Hours are spent researching, scripting, filming, editing, uploading, promoting, and engaging. Yet, for small channels, the views might be stagnant, the subscriber count inches up at a snail's pace, and monetisation (if any) is negligible. This imbalance between effort and immediate reward can be incredibly demoralising.
The Algorithm's Whims: YouTube's ever-changing algorithm is a constant source of anxiety. A video that took days to create might sink without a trace, while a quickly made short could randomly go viral – or vice versa. The unpredictability makes planning and consistent growth incredibly difficult, leading to feelings of helplessness.
Imposter Syndrome and Self-Doubt: When you're putting your creativity out into the world and it's not gaining traction, it's easy to fall into the trap of self-doubt. "Is my content good enough? Am I interesting? What am I doing wrong?" Comparing oneself to larger channels – whose journeys are often simplified or romanticised – can amplify these feelings.
The Spectre of Burnout: The constant pressure to create, combined with the lack of immediate gratification and the sheer workload, often leads to burnout. It's easy to lose the initial passion when it feels like you're running on a treadmill that never speeds up.
Managing Negativity (Even on a Small Scale): Even small channels are not immune to negative comments, unsolicited advice, or outright hate. While the volume is less than for big creators, the impact can feel more personal when there are fewer positive comments to balance them out.
Financial Investment and Strain: Equipment, software, music licenses, stock footage – the costs can add up quickly. Many small creators invest their own money with no guarantee of return, turning a hobby into a financial drain rather than a source of income.
The Unspoken Truth: Why We Keep Going
So, why do small channel creators persist through these monumental ups and downs? Because beneath the fluctuating statistics and the algorithmic mysteries lies a core truth: the love of creation. It's the joy of bringing an idea to life, the satisfaction of helping even one person, the thrill of mastering a new skill, and the quiet pride of building something from nothing.