I’ve just published this article after a heartfelt online conversation with a dear friend in the Netherlands. Although he’s the same age as my youngest son, I’ve known him since he was in his early teens. Sadly, he contacted me yesterday to tell me that his father had passed away.
His father was a remarkable man. He had a deep love of nature, was an environmental campaigner in every sense of the word, and was also a gifted artist. During our conversation, we inevitably spoke about life, loss, and how things change over time.
We also talked about my own health and the mobility issues I now live with. It saddened him because, for most of his life, he has known me as a warrior and as his Sensei. In his mind, I was always the strong, capable teacher he looked up to.
I tried to explain that while I have had to adapt my life around my disabilities, I don't see that as giving in. Instead, it has given me an entirely different perspective on life. Growing older has taught me lessons that my younger self could never have understood. I may not be the man I once was physically, but in many ways, I feel richer in experience, gratitude, and appreciation for each new day.
That conversation stayed with me long after we said goodbye, and it was the inspiration for the article that follows.
Getting Older Is a Privilege
I often hear people say they're afraid of getting older.
I understand why.
As the years pass, our bodies begin to remind us that we're no longer twenty. We don't bounce back from knocks quite as quickly. Old injuries that we thought we'd left behind suddenly reappear to collect their debt. Joints become stiffer, backs become less forgiving, and even simple tasks can take a little longer than they once did.
I've experienced that myself.
There was a time when I never gave my knees or my back a second thought. They simply did what I asked of them. These days, they have a vote of their own. Like many people in their sixties and seventies, I've had to accept that my body has changed. It isn't as capable as it once was, and pretending otherwise only leads to frustration.
But here's the thing.
I don't fear getting older.
In fact, with every passing year, I feel more privileged to still be here.
Not everyone gets the chance to grow old. Every birthday is another year that someone else never had. When you stop looking at ageing as something that's being taken away from you and start seeing it as something you've been given, your whole outlook begins to change.
That doesn't mean I enjoy every ache and pain.
Far from it.
Many of us carry the scars of the lives we've lived. Years of hard work, old sporting injuries, lifting things we probably shouldn't have, rushing through life, dealing with stress, and simply living. Eventually, those experiences catch up with us. Physical health changes. Mental resilience can be tested. We begin to realise that we're not indestructible after all.
For a while, I think many people fight it.
We compare ourselves with the person we used to be.
"I used to walk further."
"I used to lift that with one hand."
"I used to think nothing of spending all day outdoors."
The trouble is, we're measuring today's version of ourselves against someone who no longer exists.
That younger person had different experiences, different responsibilities and a different body.
I've come to realise that the secret to growing older isn't trying to hold on to who we were.
It's learning to appreciate who we are now.
Acceptance isn't surrender.
Acceptance is adaptation.
I've had to adapt the way I do things. I think more carefully before I climb over something. I look for easier ways to carry equipment. I pace myself. I know that if I overdo things today, I'll probably pay for it tomorrow.
Years ago, I might have seen that as weakness.
Now I see it as wisdom.
I've also discovered that slowing down isn't always a bad thing.
When we're young, life often feels like a race. We rush from one goal to the next, convinced that happiness lies somewhere just over the horizon. A better job. A bigger house. More money. More success.
As I've grown older, I've found myself noticing the things I used to rush past.
The early morning mist hanging over a river.
The sound of birds before the rest of the world wakes up.
A quiet paddle where the only noise is the dip of the paddle into the water.
A beautiful sunset that costs nothing but a few moments of my time.
Those moments have become far more valuable than many of the things I once chased.
Life has taught me something else too.
We all have a beginning, and one day we will all reach the end of our journey.
None of us knows when that day will come.
That's the great mystery of life.
We spend so much time worrying about the destination, yet the destination has never really been ours to control.
What we can control is the journey.
How we treat people.
How grateful we choose to be.
Whether we continue to learn.
Whether we continue to smile.
Whether we allow life's challenges to make us bitter or better.
Growing older has reminded me that life isn't about trying to stay young forever.
It's about making the most of every season of life.
There are things I can't do today that I could do twenty years ago.
But there are also things I understand today that I could never have understood back then.
Experience has a value that youth simply can't buy.
So no, I don't fear getting older.
Every new line on my face, every ache tells a story. They are reminders that I've lived, loved, struggled, laughed, learned and kept going.
If I've learned anything, it's this.
Don't waste today wishing you were younger.
Be grateful that you're here today.
Adapt to the person you've become instead of mourning the person you used to be.
Because growing older isn't the tragedy many people believe it is.
The real tragedy would have been never having the chance to grow old at all.
For me, every sunrise is another invitation to enjoy the journey, wherever the road may lead.
And as long as I can still get outside, breathe the fresh air and find beauty in the world around me, I'll continue to count myself as one of the fortunate ones.
